


Back to You - Part 2

by ssa_archivist



Category: Smallville
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Futurefic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-04-29
Updated: 2003-04-29
Packaged: 2017-11-01 09:54:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/355262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssa_archivist/pseuds/ssa_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clark moves to Metropolis and reenters Lex's life.  Maybe they'll finally figure out what they're looking for and decide to go after it.  Part 2 of 3.  (Part 1 started with Lex/Other, now here comes the Clex!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Back to You - Part 2

**Author's Note:**

> Part 2 of 3. Thanks to Kellie for the beta and everyone for their kind feedback on part 1. Get ready for the Clex in this one-- and yes, I stole the title from the John Mayer song. All parts available (as they are ready) at the Smallville Slash Archive (<http://smallville.slashdom.com/>) or at my own Web site (<http://www.sjlee.org/smallville/>). 

## Back to You - Part 2

by Hecubus

<http://www.sjlee.org/smallville/>

* * *

Disclaimer: Smallville and its characters belong to the WB and DC Comics. I don't own any of it. This story is for entertainment purposes only. 

Author's 

* * *

Lex went on with his life after David left. He went to work, he worked out in his private gym, he met with business associates and acquaintances for dinner and drinks. He steered away from dating, even taking female friends to public functions-- somehow it had been easier to put on the charade when he knew that David was waiting at home for him. Despite his public image, when he came home, he was filled with an overwhelming emptiness. He was listless, melancholy. He wandered around the penthouse barefoot, windows and balcony doors open to let the summer sun and breeze wash through his now emptier home. He realized how much he had gotten used to having David around, someone to talk to all the time, someone to unwind with at the end of the day, someone to fall asleep next to... 

"Mr. Luthor?" 

"Yes?" Lex answered as he turned around to find his personal assistant Michael looking at him, phone in hand. 

"Mr. Kent is on the line for you," Michael said, reaching out to hand Lex the phone. 

"Thank you, Michael." 

"Clark?" Lex said into the phone. 

"Hey, Lex," Clark's voice greeted over the line. "I just finished unpacking and was calling to see if you wanted to get together." 

"Oh, I almost forgot you were moving into town," Lex said. He had been so preoccupied with the breakup that he had almost forgotten that Clark was moving to Metropolis, forgot his excitement at having Clark come back into his life. 

"Oh," Clark answered, a little crestfallen. "Well, if you're too busy, we can try to get together some other time..." 

"No, Clark. I've just... had other things on my mind. Of course I want to see you." 

"Oh, okay," Clark said, brightening up again. "Are you free tonight?" 

"Actually, I am," Lex said, looking at his watch. "Where's your new apartment? I can come by, see your new place and take you out to a sort-of 'Welcome to Metropolis' dinner." 

"That sounds great. I'm in the towers on Third and Mason, apartment 3B. Want to come by around six?" 

"Sure. I'll see you then." 

* * *

Lex found Clark's apartment easily enough, glad to see that it had a parking garage so he wouldn't have to park the Porsche on the street. When Clark opened the door, Lex shivered with happiness and excitement, finally seeing that beautiful smile again and feeling his warmth as Clark pulled Lex into a great big bear hug. Seeing Clark again, Lex felt an almost pain in his chest, so happy and almost relieved to see his friend again. The full force of how much Lex had missed Clark over the years hit him in that brief moment. 

"It's nice to see you, too," Lex mumbled into Clark's shoulder, wondering if he passed out from lack of oxygen whether Clark would give him mouth-to-mouth again. 

Clark held on a little longer, elated to see his friend again as well. Lex might try to be casual, cool, but Clark wouldn't hide how glad he was to see him and how much he looked forward to rekindling their friendship. Clark finally released Lex, gesturing for him to come in and take a look at his new place. 

"It's a nice place, Clark. Cute," Lex commented, looking around the small one-bedroom apartment. 

"Right, Lex," Clark said, smiling and shutting the front door. "I'm sure it's a hole compared to your place." 

"Well, it's not exactly the penthouse, but it's nice," Lex said sincerely. "In a good neighborhood, clean, safe. I like it. It suits you," he finished, turning around to smile at Clark, taking in the image of the man he had missed for so long. 

"Thanks," Clark said, grinning broadly again. He couldn't stop smiling. "I know it sounds stupid, but your opinion still means a lot to me. Seeing you again, I feel like that teen-aged kid looking up to his cooler, older friend again," he said, still standing near the front door, but eyes focused on Lex. 

"Clark, I'm not that much older than you," Lex teased. "But yes, I'm glad you're back." 

"Me too," Clark said and closed the distance between them to offer Lex the grand tour. 

* * *

Clark and Lex went out to dinner at one of the many restaurants that knew-- and treated-- Lex well. They sat in the back at a secluded table, lights low with a candle flickering between them. Lex was somewhat surprised to see how comfortable Clark seemed-- the restaurant wasn't particularly fancy, but it was quite nice and during the few times Lex had been able to take Clark out during his high school years, Clark had nervously sat through the entire dinner, asking Lex to order for him and afraid his table manners would be insufficient. Now, Clark ordered with ease, finally seeming comfortable and relaxed in this setting, but more importantly, he had a new air of maturity and poise about him. 

They chatted about Clark's new job and apartment, how his parents were doing. Lex recounted his latest adventures with LexCorp, LuthorCorp and his father. As they finished their meals, their small talk died down and they sat together in a comfortable silence. 

"So, tell me," Lex said after a moment. "What made you decide to move to Metropolis? To come back near Smallville again?" 

"Well, I definitely had fun at school," Clark said. "It was a great opportunity to get away from Smallville and really live on my own, find out about who I really am, but I did miss my parents and wanted to be closer to them. I had a couple of offers from places around Kansas State, but... I just needed to get away from there," he explained, shrugging his shoulders. "Start again, even if I did it closer to home." 

Lex considered Clark. He had asked the question out of innocent curiosity, but Clark seemed to grow serious suddenly. "Did something go wrong?" he asked gently. "You seem a little too... emphatic about having to leave Manhattan and Kansas City." 

"No," Clark said, shaking his head and staring at the table. He paused for a moment and opened his mouth to continue, but was interrupted by the waiter. 

"Excuse me, sir," he said, addressing Lex. "Would you like some coffee? Dessert?" 

"Just coffee, please," Lex answered, tearing his eyes away from Clark and looking up at the waiter. 

"And for you, Mr. Hudson?" 

Clark creased his eyebrows in a look of confusion. 

"This isn't Mr. Hudson," Lex answered for him. "This is Mr. Kent." 

"Oh, I'm sorry," the waiter apologized, looking a little confused himself. "It must be the lighting." 

"It's okay," Clark finally answered, still a bit confused, but dismissing the error. His mind was still focused on telling Lex about why he moved to Metropolis. "Um, just coffee for me. Please." 

"Yes, sir. Regular for both?" 

At Clark and Lex's simultaneous nods, the waiter tipped his head slightly and hurried away. 

"So, you were saying?" Lex said, turning back to Clark. 

"Right," Clark said, composing himself. "I was saying that no, nothing went wrong... I was dating someone and it just didn't work out. We broke up on good terms, but it made me really evaluate my life, you know?" He looked at Lex, hoping he would understand without having to get into the details. Lex had always understood him naturally before. "I wanted to get away from all of that, make a fresh start and get closer to home, to my roots." 

"I see. Well, that's understandable," Lex said, nodding. He had been tempted to take off to Hawaii for a month after David left. "I'm sure breaking up with you wasn't an easy thing for her to do either," he said, trying to be understanding despite the almost irresistible curiosity inside his head over who this woman was, this woman who could push Clark to reevaluate his life. 

"He," Clark corrected, interrupting Lex's thoughts. 

Lex looked up at Clark, raising his eyebrows. "Excuse me?" 

"He," Clark repeated. "And _his_ name was Paul." 

"Is there something you want to tell me, Clark?" Lex said calmly, folding his hands in his lap. 

"I think I just did," Clark answered, smiling nervously. 

"You're gay?" 

"Well, bisexual technically, but yeah." 

"I... I didn't realize..." 

"Is that a problem?" 

"No, it's just... surprising I guess," Lex managed to say, a thousand questions-- and possibilities-- running through his head. "When did you realize you were g-- bisexual?" 

"Well, I didn't really try dating men until sophomore year in college, but I've had, let's just say 'suspicions' since I was fifteen." 

"I see," Lex said, falling silent, seemingly deep in thought over what Clark had just told him. "What did your parents say?" 

"They were surprised, but they're kind of used to... 'surprises' with me by now. They've been pretty understanding. Thankfully." 

Lex nodded in response, but still remained silent. Clark watched the gears turning in Lex's head and while Lex was always pensive, his mind never seeming to rest even for a moment, and the fact that they had managed to stay friends despite countless challenges over the years, Clark wondered if this was what could push them apart. After all, Clark had lost friends before because of it. 

"Are you really okay with this, Lex?" Clark asked timidly before beginning to ramble. "I would have told you sooner, but it was all so new to me and we had kind of drifted apart and I had a couple of run-ins with people, friends who weren't so understanding-- " 

"It's okay, Clark," Lex finally said, cutting Clark off, seeing his friend's nervousness and fear. "It really is. I was just surprised, that's all," he explained, easing the unnecessary tension. "After all, I'm not exactly straight as a ruler." 

"Really?" Clark said, this time raising his eyebrows in surprise. "But all those women... Victoria, Helen..." 

"Come on, Clark. You must have heard rumors about my sexuality." 

"Yeah, but they were mostly about your teen years. I thought you were just rebelling, experimenting." 

"I was," Lex said, sighing before he continued his "confession." "But even experiments have lasting results. I'm not exactly out of the closet to the public for PR reasons, but I am decidedly bisexual." 

Clark straightened up in his chair, leaning back and simply said, "Hmm." 

"What?" Lex said, momentarily afraid of Clark's reaction even though Clark had just made the same admission. 

"I just never thought my best friend would be a queer, bald billionaire," Clark replied nonchalantly. 

"Ha ha," Lex said sarcastically, rolling his eyes as the seriousness of the moment was lifted. Clark smiled back at him. 

* * *

(A few weeks later) 

Clark watched Lex as he leaned over the pool table to make his shot. Clark tilted his head, considering his best friend. 

"Lex, how come I've never seen you date men?" he asked frankly. 

Lex made his shot flawlessly and answered Clark casually as he set up his next shot. "Well Clark, considering you've only known that I'm bisexual for a few weeks now, I haven't exactly had the chance to amuse you with my parade of male lovers." 

"Ha ha," Clark said, rolling his eyes. "No, seriously. I mean, I've seen you go on dates with women a million times and I know you do it mostly to keep up appearances, but I've never really seen you with a close male friend." He paused for a moment before adding, "Well, except for me, I guess." Clark hoped Lex didn't see him blush as he remembered all the times he had fantasized about him. "But I mean, someone you're dating, even if it is in secret." 

"How do you know I'm not dating a man in secret?" Lex challenged nonchalantly, refusing to meet Clark's eyes. He wasn't sure if he liked where this conversation was heading. 

"Well, I don't, I guess," Clark conceded. "I just thought no matter how secret the relationship was, you'd tell me..." 

Sensing Clark's disappointment, Lex finally looked up and sighed. "Don't worry, Clark. I'm not dating anyone. And if I was, I would tell you," he reassured, seeing Clark brighten up at his words. "It's just that having a relationship with a man doesn't exactly fit into my life. I'm certainly attracted to men, but where would a relationship like that go? We wouldn't be able to get married or even go out publicly as partners." 

"So, you just deny yourself this part of your sexuality?" Clark asked trying not to sound accusing as he watched Lex miss his shot. 

Lex sighed as he straightened up and stepped away from the table. "Clark, you'd be surprised how many things I deny myself." 

* * *

(September, a few months later) 

"Well, I've got to go," David said as he stood up and picked up his briefcase. He had stopped by the penthouse after work to talk about a potential deal with LexCorp. "I'm meeting Jackson for dinner." 

"Of course," Lex said, standing up and walking around his desk. "You seem... happy," Lex said, returning his smile. "Things are going well then? I mean, with you and Jackson?" 

"They are. I am," David added, blushing at his own giddiness. 

"I'm glad," Lex said, chuckling and ducking his head in a rare show of almost awkwardness. 

"You know, Lex, I was happy with you," David said gently. "It's just... it wasn't..." 

"Enough," Lex said, finishing the sentence for him. "I know, David. And trust me, I don't blame you." 

David smiled, breathing a small sigh of relief. He had been afraid seeing Lex like this, even in a business sense, might be awkward, but Lex had been professional the entire time and even now, talking about a sore spot for both of them, he was kind, understanding. He was reminded of why he had fallen in love with Lex in the first place. 

"Is he good to you?" Lex asked, interrupting David's thoughts. 

"He is," David answered firmly. "I love him very much." 

"That's good. I'm glad you've found someone who can give you all the things you want. All the things you deserve." 

"Thanks. I'm sure you'll find someone yourself." 

"Well, I don't know about that, but it's nice of you to say," Lex said lightly as they walked toward the door. 

"Please, Lex," David said stopping to place a hand on Lex's arm and look him in the eye. "I meant it when I said it then and I still mean it now: you have an overwhelming capacity to love and to fall in love, no matter how much you might want to deny it. And when the right person comes along, and I know they will, it'll be incredible." 

Lex blushed, flattered by David's faith in him, but he still had trouble believing those words. "It was good to see you, David." 

"Same here," David answered. He tentatively moved to hug Lex and when he didn't move away, David pulled Lex into a touching embrace, confirming that despite their breakup, their friendship would last. When they parted, they smiled at each other and Lex opened the door to the study, ready to show David out. 

* * *

Clark let himself into the penthouse. Lex had given him the codes months ago, letting Clark know that he was always welcome in his home. He threw his jacket on the living room sofa and went searching for his friend. He used his x-ray vision, searching through walls and scanning rooms when he finally spotted Lex in his study. But he wasn't alone. He was talking to a man, someone Clark had never seen before, but that looked frighteningly similar to himself as he looked closer. And then, Lex and the man hugged, smiling at one another and holding the embrace for a brief moment. Confusion, surprise-- even jealousy?-- jolted Clark's vision back to normal as questions raced through his mind. Who was this man? And why was Lex hugging him? Lex had never been one for physical affection-- he had only hugged Clark a few times, but it was usually initiated by Clark and often after some harrowing times back in Smallville. 

Clark was jarred from his thoughts as he heard Lex and the man leaving the study and walking down the hallway. 

"Clark, I didn't know you were here already," Lex said, seeing Clark. "David, I'd like you to meet Clark Kent. Clark, this is David Hudson." 

"Nice to meet you," David said, gesturing to shake Clark's hand as he looked him over. 

"Likewise," Clark said, shaking his hand and putting on a bright smile despite his slight disorientation. 

David had avoided asking Lex about Clark during their meeting, but now he paused for a moment, glad to get the chance to see the young man in person. Yes, the resemblance was obvious, but David saw a glimmer of what Lex probably saw in Clark-- an innocence, an energy. He was the kind of man that when you looked at him, you knew he was a good man. 

"Well, thanks for coming by, David," Lex said, noticing David sizing up Clark and politely trying to move him along. "I'm glad to hear you're doing well." 

"Same here, Lex," David said, winking at Lex and smiling. "I'll be in touch about this deal." 

"Of course," Lex said, returning David's smile as he opened the door and watched him head towards the elevator. 

"Ready to go to the game?" Lex said, clapping his hands together and turning to look at Clark. 

"Sure," Clark answered, grabbing his jacket and shaking off his curiosity. David seemed to be special to Lex, but Clark would wait until Lex told him about this new man. 

* * *

(December) 

Metropolis stayed uncharacteristically warm throughout November and the beginning of December. Rain, not snow, fell continuously throughout the city and Clark and Lex rode back from dinner in a comfortable silence, listening to raindrops gently fall on the roof and the windshield wipers move back and forth. 

"Okay, we're here," Lex announced as he pulled into the garage for Clark's apartment building. 

Clark didn't make a move to get out of the car, instead turning to Lex and saying, "Lex, can I talk to you about something?" 

"Sure, Clark," Lex said automatically as he turned off the engine. "You know I'm always here for you." 

"I know," Clark said softly, smiling. "That's just it. You're always there for me. You've always been such a good friend. And I can't think of my life without you." 

"That's sweet, Clark," Lex said, returning Clark's smile. It was nice, sitting in the car with Clark, the whole world shut out just for this moment. "You're a big part of my life, too." 

Clark just nodded and smiled back before turning serious. "Lex, I was wondering," he started slowly. "I was wondering if you've ever considered being... more than friends. With me." 

"Clark, I don't know if we should go down this road," Lex answered, putting up his defenses immediately. Lex had lusted after Clark since the moment they met, but denying his feelings had become second nature to him, first because he thought Clark was straight, not to mention too young, and now because he was afraid to jeopardize their friendship. 

"Why not?" Clark asked, directing puppy dog eyes at his friend with a genuine curiosity and innocence that made Lex melt inside. "I know we grew apart for a while, but being here in Metropolis with you, everything seemed to fall back into place. I've never been closer to anyone in my entire life and after you told me about your own sexuality, I can't help but think that maybe we could be more..." 

"Clark," Lex interrupted. "I know you had a tough breakup before you came to Metropolis and yes, you're my closest friend too, but just because we're both bisexual doesn't mean that we should just jump into..." 

"I'm not jumping into anything, Lex," Clark said, cutting his off gently. "I told you that even though I didn't really come out until my sophomore year in college, I had 'suspicions' that I wasn't straight since I was fifteen. Why do you think that is, Lex? What happened to me when I was fifteen?" He looked at Lex for a moment before answering his own question. "I met you, Lex. I met you." 

"So, what?" Lex said as if it was all inconsequential. "You're trying to tell me you've had feelings for me since you were fifteen?" 

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm trying to tell you," Clark answered simply. 

"That's extremely romantic, Clark," Lex dismissed, "but I just... I just don't have room for a homosexual relationship in my life right now. Besides, you're my best friend. I would never want to jeopardize that." 

Clark looked heartbroken. His heart sunk in his chest and he felt like he might burst into tears. He was so sure Lex felt the same way. They were so close and Clark had felt a sexual tension with Lex since the day they met, but maybe he was wrong. Wrong about everything. 

"I understand, Lex," Clark said softly as he looked away from his friend and moved to get out of the car. "I'm sorry I brought it up." 

"Don't be sorry, Clark," Lex said, reaching out to grab Clark's arm, stopping him from leaving. "You just said how you feel." 

"I know," Clark answered quietly as Lex let him go. "I've got to go. I'll talk to you later." 

"Clark," Lex called out one last time before Clark was gone. 

Clark turned around, ducking his head to look at Lex before he shut the door. 

"This doesn't change anything between us," Lex tried to reassure, feeling his own voice growing weak, feeling his own heart broken. "You're still my best friend." 

"I know, Lex," Clark said with a weak smile. "I'll talk to you later." 

* * *

Clark had been so sure. He had considered the possibility that Lex might not return his feelings, but he had psyched himself up so much for the conversation that he had practically convinced himself that it was a sure thing. And once he discovered it wasn't, he almost couldn't believe it. The shock numbed him from the pain inside that he knew would eventually surface, but for now, it enabled him to go on with his everyday life. Every morning, he would get up, go to work, listening to Lois's rants and running around the city in search of stories, and then come home. He chatted with friends and family over email or on the phone. On the surface, he was still Clark Kent, innocent, na &#239;ve farmboy turned mild-mannered reporter. 

But at night, he was a mess. He couldn't sit still. Before confessing his feelings to Lex, Clark had fantasized about what dating Lex would be like-- coming home from work to Lex or Lex coming home from work to Clark, making love over all 700 square feet of his little apartment, adding soft touches and sweet kisses to their evenings of shooting pool or watching television. Instead, Clark came home to an empty apartment and spent his evenings eating poorly constructed dinners and watching bad sitcoms. It wasn't like Lex had stopped talking to him or spending time with him-- he had called several times, trying to return to normalcy, trying to act like nothing had happened, like Clark wasn't in love with Lex and that Lex hadn't shot him down, but Clark had made excuses every time. He had managed to avoid breaking down over everything and he knew if he saw Lex, it would finally happen. It was a double-edged sword: he desperately missed having Lex as an integral part of his life, but when he even thought of Lex, he was painfully reminded of his rejection. 

So instead, he roamed the streets, running through the darkness of the city, stopping robberies, rapes, beatings, murders. He knew he was being careless-- not hiding his identity and relying only on the night to hide him-- but he needed to do something to make himself feel better, make himself feel worthy of something good, and helping people in a way only he, with all his alien powers, could had always given him that before. Or maybe it was just the physical exertion from focusing on running as he moved through the city in a blur, from concentrating his hearing and vision on the images and sounds around him as he looked for those in need. The physical exertion that let him finally come home at four, five in the morning to sleep restlessly for an hour or two, only to repeat his routine the next day. 

After about two weeks of this cycle, after yet another night spent stopping evil doers, Clark found himself running straight out of the city, through the surrounding suburban towns, through the grassy country fields and all the way to Gotham. Darker. Different. Gotham wasn't Metropolis and for a moment, he was surrounded by a city where everything didn't constantly remind him of Lex. Rain began to fall, soaking into his hair and clothes as he walked through this new city and he wondered if he should move there, make a fresh start. 

Of course, that's what he was trying to do when he had left Kansas City, had left Paul. Or rather, when Paul had left him. He had loved Paul, had been closer to him than anyone else before, maybe even closer than he had been with Lex, but something was missing from their relationship. Clark knew this, but he had convinced himself that it was the secret of his alien origins that kept Paul at a distance. He had convinced himself that he would never have whatever was missing because he kept this overwhelming secret. But Paul had thought differently. 

* * *

(End of Clark's senior year in college) 

"Clark, this just isn't working out," Paul had finally said after arguing over another bout of Clark's perpetual lateness, this time making Paul late for an awards dinner at school. 

"Look, I'm sorry I was late. I'll just get dressed and we can go," Clark said hurriedly as he headed towards his bedroom to change. 

"No, Clark," Paul said, stopping him. They had planned to meet at Clark's apartment at 6:30, but Paul had waited for nearly an hour, dressed in his tuxedo and left to think about their relationship. "I'm talking about us." 

"What do you mean?" Clark asked, turning around at the seriousness in Paul's voice. "We're great together." 

"We are, Clark," Paul agreed as he sat down on the living room sofa. "And I love you so much. And I know you love me too, but it just isn't enough." 

"What are you talking about?" Clark said as he walked over to sit beside Paul, trying to keep a smile on his face. "We're best friends and we're lovers. We understand each other, we care about each other, and we love each other. What more is there?" 

"I don't know, Clark," Paul said softly. "But there's something missing. You're holding back." 

"Paul, I told you," Clark started in an exasperated voice. "My secrets aren't just mine to tell. There's a lot of other people-- " 

"That's not what I'm talking about," Paul cut off, rising to pace about the room, frustrated and anxious. "I could not care less about your secrets. There's something else. Maybe someone else." 

"There's no one else! How could you even think that?" Clark said indignantly, standing up to face his lover. "I would never cheat on you." 

"I'm not saying you are or did," Paul answered firmly. "I'm saying that while you might love me, while you might even be in love with me, you're waiting for someone else. You might not have even met this person yet, but after all this time, I know it's not me." 

"There's no one else, Paul. There's only you." 

Paul couldn't help smiling at Clark's earnestness. "That's sweet, Clark. But think about it, really think about it. And you'll realize I'm right." 

"You're wrong," Clark muttered as he collapsed onto the couch again. 

"Maybe I am," Paul answered calmly, shrugging his shoulders. "And maybe a year or two down the line, if we both realize that I was, we can find a way to be together." 

Paul knelt in front of Clark, placing a hand on his knee and looking into his face. 

"But right now, it just doesn't feel right. I know this isn't easy. Getting over you might be the hardest thing I ever have to do," he whispered sadly to Clark, his voice cracking at the difficulty of it all. 

"Look, I have to go," Paul said, remembering he had an awards dinner that he was already late for. "We can talk about this more later, but I don't think it'll change anything. I love you, Clark, and I'll always be your friend, but I'm holding you back. You're holding yourself back." 

Paul stood up to leave, straightening his jacket and running his hands through his hair. He walked towards the door and opened it, pausing to look back at Clark, who still sat silently on the couch, head in his hands. 

"Clark," he called out before leaving. "Take that job at _The_ _Planet_ , see your parents, reconnect with old friends. Maybe you'll find what you're really looking for." 

* * *

(Present day) 

And Clark had done just that. He took the job at _The_ _Planet_ , he moved to Metropolis and he considered Paul's words. Part of him still believed it was the secret of his alien origins that held him at a distance from Paul, from everyone. At least until he saw Lex again for the first time. Older now, no longer that na&#239;ve teenager who was unsure of who he was, Clark realized that what he was looking for was Lex. He had fallen in love with him when he was fifteen, but he hadn't let himself admit it until now. How else could he explain the undeniable attraction, the unbreakable connection he felt with Lex even after years of being apart, of barely even speaking to each other for years? And when Lex had told him that he was bisexual, the wheels started to turn in Clark's head, figuring out the right moment, the right way to confess his feelings and finally go after what he had been looking for all these years. 

But that was then and this is now. Now, Clark found himself sitting in a dark alley in a strange city, alone and soaking wet. He had stopped his wandering to sit down for a moment, playing back in his head that last conversation with Paul, that last conversation with Lex. Suddenly, he heard movement above him, light footsteps across the roof and the sound of... laughing? 

"My, my, look what we have here. Pretty young thing lost in the big city?" a high pitched voice called out as a body emerged from the shadows-- a man of slight build and dressed in tight white tights and combat boots, swinging an umbrella around and wearing a... derby hat? 

More followed and Clark was soon cornered in that dark alley by a gang of malevolent-looking teenagers. 

"Look, I don't want any trouble," Clark said, backing up slightly and preparing himself for a fight. "I was just leaving." 

"Why so soon?" one said, pouting cherry red painted lips. "We didn't get a chance to play." 

They advanced on Clark, slowly at first and then with more enthusiasm. Clark tried to control his strength at first, trying to simply get away without having to hurt anybody too badly, but soon he realized he couldn't hold back anymore. He threw them off of his body effortlessly and for a moment, he thought he had stopped them, but soon, more emerged from the shadows, fresh and ready for a fight. Clark braced himself for the impending attack when he felt a sudden gust of wind and looked up to see a large, shadowy figure. Batman. 

"Oh, Bats has come to play too!" the teens cackled as they looked over at the Dark Knight. 

"I'll take care of this," Batman said in a low voice as he stepped into the light. 

Clark looked the superhero over for a moment before nodding and walking away, somewhat in shock, in awe, but overall, just wanting to get away and put the entire episode behind him. Maybe Gotham wasn't for him after all. At least Metropolis's criminals didn't wear strange costumes. 

* * *

Clark quickly flew back to Metropolis, anxious to get back after the episode in Gotham, but as he neared the edge of the city, he slowly descended, walking the rest of the way home. He took the long way, wandering through the city as people ignored him in their morning rush. He replayed the scene in Gotham in his mind, wondering what kind of man decides to dress up in a tight-fitting costume and flowing cape to become the superhero of a crowded urban city. Lost in his thoughts, he hardly noticed the rain continuing to fall, continuing to make him soaking wet, and that he was walking right past the LexCorp building. 

"I'll just get out here, Lex," David said as he followed Lex out of the limo. They had gotten together for a lunch meeting and Lex had offered to give David a ride back to the office. 

"Okay," Lex said, turning around and placing a hand on David's arm. "It was good to see you." 

"You too," David said, smiling. Clark's figure walking behind Lex caught his eye. "Hey, isn't that your friend Clark?" 

"What?" Lex said, looking from side to side and finally seeing Clark walking away. "It is... Clark!" 

Clark turned around at the sound of his name. He saw Lex and almost moved to meet him, but then he saw David and he felt like his heart was breaking all over again. He turned around and continued to walk away. 

"I'll talk to you later, David," Lex mumbled as he started to go after Clark. 

"Of course," David answered, even though Lex was already halfway down the street. Instead of heading toward his office, David stood still, curious to see what was going on. 

"Clark!" Lex called out again as he caught up with Clark who finally stopped and turned around to face him. "What happened? Why are you walking around in the pouring rain?" he asked in a concerned voice as he put a hand on Clark's arm and looked him up and down, a little distracted by the outline of Clark's body through his drenched white t-shirt and tight-fitting jeans. "God, you're filthy!" he exclaimed as he looked at Clark's mud-soaked boots. "Come inside." 

"No, Lex," Clark said, shaking his head and removing Lex's hand from his arm. "I'm fine. I've just been out... walking. Thinking. I'll be fine. I'm just on my way home." 

"Please, Clark," Lex said in an almost condescending voice as he looked up at his friend. "You look like... like you've just had your heart broken," he finished, realizing what must be at the root of Clark's appearance. "Look, just come inside." 

"No, Lex, I can't," Clark said, his voice cracking and his eyes filling with tears. He cleared his throat, trying to maintain some semblance of composure, and looked away from Lex, only to find David watching them. "Besides, isn't your friend waiting for you?" 

"What?" Lex said, confused as he looked back and understood when he saw David wave and finally walk away. "No, David's on his way back to work." 

"Right. David," Clark said, nodding his head as a theory grew in his head. "David Hudson, right? It must have been pretty funny when that waiter mistook me for him. You could obviously never mistake us for each other." 

"What are you talking about, Clark?" 

"Please, Lex," Clark said, the tears subsiding as understanding dawned on him, almost relieved to have a less painful reason for Lex's rejection. "You could have just told me the truth. That you were involved with someone else, with David. You didn't have to lie to me, tell me that you just didn't want to get involved with a man. It probably would have hurt less," he added softly. 

"Oh, Clark. What have I done?" Lex sighed painfully, prompting Clark to really look at him and see the regret on Lex's face. "Please, come inside," Lex whispered, aware of the people watching them with curiosity. "God, your skin is like ice," he cried as he placed a hand on Clark's arm again. 

"Really? I didn't notice," Clark answered flatly. He was tired, exhausted. 

"Come on," Lex simply said as he guided Clark toward the LexCorp building entrance. "We need to talk." 

Clark simply followed. After all these restless nights, he had finally run out of energy, even the energy to run away from Lex. 

To be continued... 


End file.
